Team Ladies

Gratitude is required here. I am blessed to currently work with two phenomenal women, both of whom were educated at top universities, bring countless years of public service, exhibit measured ambition and admirable tolerance, and above all else, provide a reliable stream of constructive support. My appreciation here is immense if only because my experiences with female colleagues and leaders prior to now have been less than similar, if not quite the opposite. And as of late, I've begun to hear similar stories from my girlfriends and other female colleagues of women actively defeating one another in the workplace. I sat and listened yesterday as a friend of mine from my professional network - a bright, industrious, and bilingual 28 year old - shared the story of her most recent transition from one company to another. She wooed over her new (male) boss and lamented over the stress of her previous position as a member of a small team where she held seniority (by hire date only) over a woman slightly more than 10 years her elder. Rather than collaborate on creative efforts, cooperate on projects and even meet her basic job expectations, which included assisting on major projects, this woman was unresponsive to my friend’s requests for assistance and lackadaisically partnered on projects that she did not lead - and yet demanded full credit. The woman went out of her way to dismiss an article in a regional industrial trade journal praising my friend's accomplishments in the field (and exposing her undeniably good looks) and took great care to ignore any other professional and even personal successes my friend experienced while with the company.



Perhaps it was an age issue - people don't like answering to those perceived with less experience - or even an over-hiring issue. But as a woman, I was discouraged by her story nonetheless. Feminism is at tricky thing; it's a movement based on such a profoundly important and honestly simplistic concept - gender equality - and yet like all things philosophical, it has given way to such a wide range of both generational and individual interpretations that its definition is really fluid depending on your perspective. Marxism isn't Leninism isn't Communism, so to speak. I would venture to guess that most women aren't entirely sure what it means to or for them, but at the very least, I personally had assumed it was a concept that united women. Despite popular misconceptions to the contrary, feminism is not intended to pose women against men, but one would think it definitely wasn't meant to pit women against women. Religion and class and race aside, we must share some experiences as females that endear us to one another and therefore we should naturally want to hold each other up, champion one another's successes. And yet stories like my friend's continue to surface.


In one of the worst years of my life, I spent endless hours a day assisting a woman who referred to me only as "Doll" or "Girlie.” On one of the worst days of the worst year, she brazenly slapped me on the butt in the presence of two of her male counterparts. And no, in case you're asking yourself this, we didn't just win a hockey game nor did we work in a locker room. Something about belittling me empowered her; it was as if there was only room for one successful female in a male-dominated office, and there certainly wasn't room for someone younger and (pardon the narcissism) more ambitious than she.


What is most troubling about this anecdote is that this woman was successful in her field and had years of experience from which I could have learned or benefited from and in turn, contributed more positively and effectively to her office and operations. She had the opportunity to mentor me and extend her personal impact on the organization far beyond her retirement by cultivating in me the professional and subject-matter knowledge that had lead to her own success and helped support many of the great successes of our department. She could have been a trailblazer; she chose to be an obstacle.


An interesting fact that many - and not just women - lose sight of in the professional world is that like love and oxygen, success is not a finite good. There is plenty for everyone and my consumption of it does not in any way negate or diminish yours. And in fact, supporting one another and lending to others' success serves as an exponential factor in your own: expanding your network of reliable and trustworthy colleagues; building a reputation as a collaborator and team player; enjoying the benefits of learning from someone with more experience or a fresh perspective. And for women like me who work in a field historically reserved for men, the professional benchmarks set by other women set a new bar - and a new baseline - for females going forward in terms of what we can accomplish. My current boss, my co-worker and myself - we refer to ourselves as 'Team Ladies.' And we conduct ourselves as a team in business. When you trail blaze three-deep, you cut a far wider path for those to follow.


This isn't a sweeping plea to raise through the ranks all the females of the world simply because we all share the gift of reproduction; as I said, feminism is about equality, and aptitude and acumen shouldn't be overlooked. But a challenge to my fellow females out there: next time you have a female-colleague who is being promoted and garnering professional accolades, perhaps drop the indulgence in that healthy dose of schaedenfreude and instead, shake her hand and ask her how she did it. Take your new intern to lunch and share the tricks of the trade. Praise your colleagues and engage their know-how in completing a new and exciting project. Sharing your achievement doesn't seem half bad when you've doubled the results.

Suit up. 'Team Ladies' is recruiting willing and able players.