I like to think the feathers give me an air of confidence in important meetings.
"Yes, I am that sure of myself that I'm writing in a green glittered Ariel pen."
Friday, March 5, 2010
You can never take yourself too seriously...
I like to think the feathers give me an air of confidence in important meetings.
"Yes, I am that sure of myself that I'm writing in a green glittered Ariel pen."
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
60 amends...
The interesting thing about realizing that you want to join the online conversation is realizing how much more difficult it is to "talk" online. I talk A LOT - ask anyone who knows me, but fortunately for me, I can talk while I am driving, swimming, grocery shopping or even while I'm eating (so rude). Sadly, blogging isn't equally convenient and absolutely requires a computer and an internet connection - neither of which are necessarily hard to come by, but both of which I tire of easily after a day at work...typically spent entirely (including my lunch hour) in front of two 17-inch screens and an endless influx of news reports and client requests. So I've learned my lesson and acknowledge that like a stable, long-term relationship, becoming a legitimate blogger requires commitment and compromise and energy when you least feel like you have it. And obviously a sense of humor.
So as a reparation for my unacceptable absence after such an energetic entry into the online world, I've decide to highlight one intriguing, hilarious or useful tid-bit/commentary/advice for each of the 60 days I've neglected my poor blog. If you were my pet, blog, you'd be dead. So here's to your second coming:
1) "Peace out, Debt" money-saving tip#1: skip your expensive yoga or spinning class and simply download different videos from Netflix. Think of all the money you could save and still try a new class everyday! Plus you're saving all that time it takes to actually GO to the gym. Two birds. One video.
2) I've always wondered why my boyfriend doesn't smell like a charming, athletic African-American horseback-rider.
3) New favorite app #1: Gratitude journal. It's an adorable (think chubby little animated buddha) and easy little way to stay focused on the positive by creating a new journal item each day on one thing you're thankful for - like leave-in conditioner or the ability to walk. The spectrum of gratitude is endless!
4) In case any of you are planning on moving to Peshawar or Fallujah or maybe East LA, here's a staple for your new bedroom. You're welcome.
5) But safety doesn't have to stop at home! Support your home team AND avoid a fatal injury. Two birds. One vest.
6) Movie I've seen in the past 60 days that made me love being a lady (and maybe want to throw a punch): Whip It.
7) Movie I've seen in the past 60 days whose alluring writing and profound performances could not spare me the disturbing nightmares: Inglourious Bastards
8) 3-D experience in the next 60 days I hope doesn't give me nightmares: Alice in Wonderland.
(*you all saw the re-make of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'...as if the original tunnel scene with Gene Wilder wasn't damaging enough)
9) Movie I have seen in the past 60 days that I think will win the Oscar for Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
10) Movie I think should win: Up in the Air.
11) Cult Movie 'Eh' Admission: sorry everyone, I didn't love (500) Days of Summer. I dig the alternative love-story angle, but it earns a super low score for predictability. There. I said it.
12) Movies I watched in the past 60 days that I never want to watch again, either for fear of death-by-boredom or the potential of landing into hardcore therapy from immediate-onset depression: Public Enemies, Seven Pounds, and Rachel Getting Married. I'll give you that Anne Hathaway's performance in 'Rachel' was astounding, but 'Seven Pounds' could depress even a Zoloft addict.
13) Number of sparkly, feathered princess pens on my desk: 5
14) Random editorial comment: I hate the new Facebook layout. I can barely find my own profile. 15) Love to (or looking to be) healthy but have zero time like moi to actually prep and chop and slice and dice and braise and blah? Here's my favorite omega-3-packed, super-balanced dinner recipe you can savor in 10 minutes, start to finish. It serves two, but you can easily just break out the Gladware and
- 2 tilapia filets
- 1 box of frozen spinach
- 1 box of Near East Roasted Garlic and Olive oil Wheat Couscous
Step 1: Marinate the tilapia overnight in the champagne and caper salad dressing OR simply marinate just before cooking. Honestly, I'm not sure there's an absolutely huge difference with fish.
Step 2: Cook the spinach according to directions - it's something along the lines of throw the frozen block in a pan with a little water and heat until it's...well, heated (approximately 8 minutes)Step 3: Cook the couscous according to the directions - boil 1/4 cup of water with the flavor packet, throw in the couscous, and remove from heat and cover. Viola! (approximately 5 minutes)
Step 4: In a skillet, cook the marinated tilapia over medium heat for 3 minutes on each side. DONE. A super healthy protein, vegetable and starch in less time than it takes to make even the most basic salad. And despite popular belief, frozen spinach is just a nutrient rich as fresh spinach (in fact, potentially better for you!)
16) Speaking of tasty, grown-up cooking, for those of you foodies who've always loved 'Top-Chef,' check out our favorite British chef in his new show on ABC - Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Finally someone is taking the message to the couch potatoes.
17) Has anyone checked out Michelle Obama's webpage on the White House website? It reads like a Dream BIG! ad for anyone with a conscience, it's so inspiring...and let's be honest, it doesn't hurt that the article refers to Obama not as her husband, but as the "love of her life." Hearts, hearts, hearts.
18) Tiger Woods' public apology - first of all, it was really long. Am I in disagreement with the critics who hated on his every word because it came off like an orchestrated "Step 1" in the plot to return one of the best athletes in history to the game, ASAP? No. But did you expect it any other way? He's one of the best athletes in history. He pays for an incredible management team, all of whose salaries depend on his continued success. That being said, while the man doesn't deserve a medal for apologizing, I do believe that people make mistakes and the proverbial second chance. When you are at rock bottom, the only way - literally - is up, so I don't think anyone can blame him for trying to move on with this life and rectify his grave choices and to the contrary, there is something to be said for taking the right steps towards recovery. To forgive, in fact, is divine and extremely difficult...and in this case, like many others, it's not really anyone's business.
19) My favorite style of the new spring season: SHORT! Why? Because the shorter the skirt/shorts, the better the allusion of long legs (translated: height for the petites like me).
20) Superbowl ads this year were endless disappointing (sorry Betty White) but this one had me laughing for days: "I'm gonna work this PARRHHHTTTYYY!"
21) Most Annoying Person of the last 60 days: John Mayer, by a landslide. No one cares about your penis or any activities relating to it.
22) YAY! Product Review #1: Toyota Yaris. Between the aggressive accelerators on the Prius and the crap brakes on the Corolla, poor Toyota's brand image is all but in shambles. But alas...while in Costa Rica, we rented a Yaris, which makes sense - the four-door, compact car to navigate the side of unpaved, boulder-ridden mountains in a rainy jungle. But it persevered! It even THRIVED, mind you only if you started it in first gear, but by golly, that little Yaris made it up that mountain.
23) NAY (boo) Product Review #1: Budget Rental Cars. While the Yaris carried the team big time, Budget was a huge let down upon arrival to their airport office, at which point the informed me that they would not be honoring my reservation for a four-wheel drive vehicle because it was not pre-paid. Ironically, they did not seem to think that such a piece of information would have been more useful when I actually made the reservation. Down with Budget!
24) Despite all the hype around some of the more newsworthy comments during President Obama's first State of the Union, one of my all-time favorite lines of the night was during his discussion of the environment, when he acknowledged that Republicans and Democrats may not all agree on the effects of global warming, "despite overwhelming evidence"...HA.
Well isn't somebody gettin' sassy....oh SNAP!
25) I suppose it's now convenient that my boyfriend is lactose intolerant because thanks to this ABC Nightline report on the inhumane treatment of cows on commercial dairy farms - including burning off their horns and docking their tails without pain medication or numbing treatments - I am officially off the stuff (*warning - videos are graphic and disturbing: http://blogs.abcnews.com/nightlinedailyline/2010/01/darker-side-of-dairy-farming.html)
26) Most spontaneous thing I've done in the past 60 days: cut my hair asymetrically, so it's actually longer in the front than in the back, and then longer on the left side in the front than on the right side. I think I may actually be cooler now.
27) Whip-lash, it turns out, is real. When someone rear-ends you while you're stopped at a red light, you DO actually go flying forward and it does, indeed, hurt your back and neck. Now, foot-in-mouth, I must stop making fun of people for being wimps post-fender-bender. I must also stop hating on my 10 year old Altima that survived the incident completely unscathed.
28) 10-year Altima odometer reading today: 188,387.
29) My fellow animal lovers: did you know that pet owners to not have any real legal ground to stand on when our pets are harmed or even pass away due to veterinarian medical malpractice? According to law, pets are property and a mutt like Trudie would be worth not much more than $100 - a crushing thought to those of us who love our pets like family. Just one more thing to take to your local legislator!
30) ...and for you animal lovers who also happen to be good Christians, it turns out there are a few neighborly sinners who are willing to lend you a hand (for such a modest fee!) come Rapture time (courtesy of my petless sister...she was just looking out for Trudie, Padma and Ramon):
31) Stand-up you gotta see: Better known for his antics as Raaaaandy (note: some inappropriate language) in the film "Funny People" or as Tom Haverford on fellow funny person Amy Poehler's new show "Parks & Recreation," Aziz Ansari also puts on a pretty hysterical stand-up show in his free time. I was lucky enough to check him and a few other talented individuals at The Improv. Let's just say there were tears involved...but no one was saaaaaaaaaad!
32) Latest guilty pleasure: Crystal Light drink packets. Holy moly, I can't quit. Do you think the health benefits of the massive amounts of water I have to drink in the process of consuming my delicious pomegranate lemonade and mandarin red tea offsets the disturbing amounts of aspartame and red 40 in every packet?
....whatever, it's all sorts of low-calorie refreshing!!
33) How to Survive an Airport Layover: the PEOPLE.com app. It will fill you in on all the goodies from Angelina's reconcile with her estranged father, Jon Voigt, to last night's sighting of Justin Timberlake kissing his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, in the club. And you gossip-mongers thought they were on the outs. Tsk, tsk.
34) Ailments endured within the past 60 days: whip-lash (see #27 above); severe sunburn courtesy of ATVing in Costa Rica; a grapefruit size bruise courtesy of my boyfriend dropping a truck bed door on my arm; multiple scrapes and bruises courtesy of said-boyfriend AND flying off the ATV in Costa Rica.
35) Celebrities I still can't bring myself to hate or disparage despite the popularity to do so: Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise.
36) Celebrities I'm not ashamed to cherish: Dog the Bounty Hunter and Kim Kardashian. Clearly for different reasons.
37) When it comes to politics, I'm Washington Post all the way. But when it comes to entertainment, the Los Angeles Times, in similar fashion, takes the cake. So when Jenny Sanford came out with her tell-all novel about the unraveling of yet another squeaky clean politician due to some sordid affair, I must say I expected the tabloid lure of the Times to trounce her and the political players of the Post to praise her - for she seemingly represented, for all intents and purposes, the pinnacle of what the public had always hoped for in a scorned political wife: someone who wouldn't accept it. Alas, while I've yet to read the book myself, the shock and disappointment expressed by both newspapers' reviewers leads me to believe what LA times author Tim Rutton's mother told him: "One should never presume to know what goes on in another person's marriage."
38) My friends in entertainment will dismiss me and cite "good television" as justification, but Rod Blagojevich on 'Celebrity Apprentice'? Really, NBC? Really? First, it was simply being the child of someone rich that qualified you to be a celebrity; now apparently you only have to be a criminal with horrid hair.
40) Ways I earned my Badge of Courage in the past 60 days: zip-lining more than half a mile, 550 ft in the air between two mountains. Or perhaps repelling down a series of six waterfalls in the jungle. Or maybe driving a Yaris up the side of the mountain (see #22).
41) How I Spent My Valentine's Day (see image to right and/or read #40 again): nothing says romance like not dying.
42) Support the arts by supporting my friends! Here are links to the websites of my most talented and ambitious friends. Enjoy the beauty, drama and hilarity, but don't keep the fun to yourself. Art this good is meant to be shared!
43) Newest way I spend my Monday nights: KICKBALL! I'm pretty sure a rubber ball to the face is in my future.
44) My Kickball At-Bat Song: "On the Wings of Love" by Jeffrey Osborne.
45) Did you know that wine fraud exists? Me neither. Crime is gettin' FANCY!!
46) Honestly...I want to know the other American Olympians, I really do...but yeah...if you're hair's not flaming red and you're not in an HP commercial, I'm not sure exactly who you are. But Congratulations on your success, Compatriot!!
47) Most crushing moment of the Olympics: watching Joannie Rochette skate to the bronze within days of her mother's death.
48) Turns out, it wasn't just the pinstripes. Even in Blue, Johnny Damon is still a big jerk.
49) Song I'm most likely to request at the club this Friday night: "I'm a Be," Black-eyed Peas.
50) Song I'm most likely to sing at Karaoke this Saturday night: "Right Back Where We Started From," Maxine Nightingale.
51) A brother for Trudie? Or a favorite for the Triple Crown?
52) The death of the killer whale trainer is absolutely tragic and devastating (and probably super traumatic for the kids who were present for the violent incident - no 'Free Willy' DVDs for them), but it reminded me a bit of this little incident:
53) Remember when this woman decided to jump INTO the polar bear den? In response to my relating how the zoo workers almost had to shoot the polar bear, my co-worker Laura responded, "Whoa whoa. The question here is who is in the wrong place? If the bear is out of the cage, you shoot the bear. If the woman is in the cage, you shoot the woman." It is difficult to argue with such sound logic.
54) "Do you know how many friends I have now? 400. Paper-towels."
(*again - not to be viewed in reach of the ears of children)
(*again - not to be viewed in reach of the ears of children)
55) Random FYI: Michael Jackson's 'Captain EO' has returned to Disneyland!
56) YAY! Product Review #2: St. Ives Pore-Cleansing Mask. You'll look like an extra in 'Avatar' for 10 minutes, but it'll shrink even the most stubborn, gaping pores.
57) NAY (boo) Product Review #2: Colgate Wisps. These just don't work. And they're an awkward size - somewhere in between a toothpick and a toothbrush...which I suppose is what they were going for, but the brush side barely deals with coffee breath and the pick side wanes long before you can work out that frosted flake stuck in your molar. Teeth-brushing was meant to go with water. Stick to gum.
58) Dogs catching treats in slow motion. Adorable.
59) ...but more adorable than a buffalo taking a Frisbee to the face? I'm not sure. Toss up.
(*I may have to prefer this one if only because 1) my very talented copywriter friend, Ted, helped write it, and 2) it promotes dog adoption, which we all know is critically important!)
60) Snapshot of my favorite pets...minutes after I walk out the door.
59) ...but more adorable than a buffalo taking a Frisbee to the face? I'm not sure. Toss up.
(*I may have to prefer this one if only because 1) my very talented copywriter friend, Ted, helped write it, and 2) it promotes dog adoption, which we all know is critically important!)
60) Snapshot of my favorite pets...minutes after I walk out the door.
...and I'm out. See you in a day or 60 or so.
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